Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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