HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
