these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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