I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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