We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
