why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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