garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
