Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The beer is more important than you right now.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
