I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
