doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
