its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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