remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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