It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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