seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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