the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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