Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
