I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
