I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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