I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
