i think i scared a bird with my dick
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I want a musical about memes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Come on in and take your pants off
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