i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
