I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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