I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
