i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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