Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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