thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
