is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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