Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
this will be a night to untag.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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