i used baking grease as lip gloss
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
