So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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