So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
worst night to have a conscience
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years