I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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