please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize