my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize