Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now

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  (970): I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now http://tfl.nu/72p0
  Replies (7) Good night (984) Bad night (1985)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?

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  (480): Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people? http://tfl.nu/e8xq
  Replies (65) Good night (1040) Bad night (8700)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.

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  (815): i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight. http://tfl.nu/g0lm
  Replies (47) Good night (900) Bad night (3574)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.

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  (630): Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle. http://tfl.nu/mxjx
  Replies (7) Good night (943) Bad night (5057)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.

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  (937): just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy. http://tfl.nu/n1q0
  Replies (17) Good night (1500) Bad night (5877)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.

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  (734): He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine. http://tfl.nu/5uk3
  Replies (12) Good night (3337) Bad night (1085)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.

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  (913): So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof. http://tfl.nu/7fh1
  Replies (8) Good night (2856) Bad night (1010)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...

  (434): View more from Virginia

  I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade

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  (434): Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit... (434): I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade http://tfl.nu/qzwf
  Replies (10) Good night (3452) Bad night (806)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches

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  (604): You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches http://tfl.nu/88ib
  Replies (4) Good night (795) Bad night (1418)
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  (852): View more from

  I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..

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  (852): I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again.. http://tfl.nu/4a3e
  Replies (4) Good night (478) Bad night (1102)
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  (714): View more from California

  The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.

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  (714): The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet. http://tfl.nu/xgey
  Replies (12) Good night (2519) Bad night (1061)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom

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  (919): Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom http://tfl.nu/af7u
  Replies (5) Good night (1704) Bad night (484)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.

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  (616): I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit. http://tfl.nu/as8y
  Replies (1) Good night (938) Bad night (351)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.

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  (303): I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/angx
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (379)
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  (47): View more from Norway

  Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van

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  (47): Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van http://tfl.nu/ihe8
  Replies (2) Good night (398) Bad night (313)

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