I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
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Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
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The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it