Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
