No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.