Texts From Last Night

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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.

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  (770): I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass. http://tfl.nu/l3hc
  Replies (17) Good night (656) Bad night (4705) Order T-Shirt
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore

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  (480): Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore http://tfl.nu/oifq
  Replies (27) Good night (663) Bad night (5119) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.

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  (404): Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n. http://tfl.nu/ek1y
  Replies (20) Good night (4581) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  he was CRYING into my vagina

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  (410): he was CRYING into my vagina http://tfl.nu/w2tl
  Replies (36) Good night (738) Bad night (11719) Order T-Shirt
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  (858): View more from California

  Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.

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  (858): Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show. http://tfl.nu/suqh
  Replies (31) Good night (1301) Bad night (4518)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.

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  (703): I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway. http://tfl.nu/26i6
  Replies (39) Good night (3766) Bad night (576) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.

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  (816): I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic. http://tfl.nu/t2fd
  Replies (7) Good night (2534) Bad night (997) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.

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  (608): NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN. http://tfl.nu/icmx
  Replies (11) Good night (1909) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.

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  (207): Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer. http://tfl.nu/w95z
  Replies (3) Good night (2661) Bad night (1169)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.

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  (503): Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer. http://tfl.nu/ruer
  Replies (5) Good night (1269) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.

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  (306): No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit. http://tfl.nu/ncdk
  Replies (5) Good night (1113) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.

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  (563): You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar. http://tfl.nu/9hcy
  Replies (7) Good night (1949) Bad night (523) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.

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  (609): Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good. http://tfl.nu/lsij
  Replies (3) Good night (1079) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"

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  (412): When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita" http://tfl.nu/mtyx
  Replies (3) Good night (848) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes

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  (859): She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes http://tfl.nu/2ifp
  Replies (6) Good night (681) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt

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