You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
