Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
