some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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