Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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