I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
there's paper in my vomit.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
