So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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