Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I am spending my child support on dildos
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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