I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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