Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
