dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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