I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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