Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
