it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
