Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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