Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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