how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my poor anus
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
