well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
