Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???

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(404): I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone??? http://tfl.nu/6a5o

Replies (30) Good night (1002) Bad night (4648)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb

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(720): You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb http://tfl.nu/rxp6

Replies (16) Good night (3832) Bad night (903)
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(925): View more from California

I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.

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(925): I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time. http://tfl.nu/c4ll

Replies (23) Good night (4427) Bad night (906)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury

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(901): You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury http://tfl.nu/7ksy

Replies (17) Good night (5486) Bad night (1085)
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(518): View more from New York

Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis

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(518): Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis http://tfl.nu/kplw

Replies (18) Good night (7184) Bad night (1256)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.

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(501): First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come. http://tfl.nu/qjzy

Replies (11) Good night (3528) Bad night (1287)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

well now I have to

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(405): I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home. (1-405): well now I have to http://tfl.nu/4hfb

Replies (9) Good night (3838) Bad night (1830)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won

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(651): So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won http://tfl.nu/y3ji

Replies (5) Good night (738) Bad night (1567)
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(525): View more from

It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?

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(525): It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am? http://tfl.nu/0yre

Replies (14) Good night (3674) Bad night (750)
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(813): View more from Florida

There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.

(701): View more from North Dakota

You're so thoughtful.

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(813): There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad. (701): You're so thoughtful. http://tfl.nu/53am

Replies (1) Good night (1353) Bad night (509)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

He should be castrated

(604): View more from British Columbia

Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons

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(778): He should be castrated (604): Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons http://tfl.nu/5v9r

Replies (7) Good night (611) Bad night (975)
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(720): View more from Colorado

THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.

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(720): THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT. http://tfl.nu/chrb

Replies (5) Good night (448) Bad night (735)
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(404): View more from Georgia

May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.

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(404): May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks. http://tfl.nu/ar41

Replies (4) Good night (747) Bad night (371)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?

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(781): "willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate? http://tfl.nu/w7fu

Replies (2) Good night (388) Bad night (658)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club

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(+44): Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club http://tfl.nu/ri4h

Replies (6) Good night (778) Bad night (333)

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