I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?