Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance