can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Randomize
