My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
