1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
