ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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