The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
