He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dignity is for republicans.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
