I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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