My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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