he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
