I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
