Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
