Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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