I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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