who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
