I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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